Normally I don't pay much attention to what I wear. I am, after all, descended from Zeus, so anything I wear will merely accentuate my good looks, but it's difficult--even for me--to look good in this prison outfit. It looks vaguely like the Short Sleeve Coat, but baggier and bright orange. Orange! Whoever invented orange? Or at least this shade, it's awful!
That and the officer who staked out my house still holds a grudge over my deoderant comment. Worse, said officer is a member of PETA, and was furious to find out what had happened to the zebras and peacocks I ordered. She made me memorize PETA's mission statement and by tonight I'm supposed to be able to recite the answers to every question on their FAQ page online. What am I, a third grader?
I'm begging you, my friends and readers, to find a way to get me out of here. Find Kip, he's got to be somewhere in my mansion. I have to go, the officer is coming back to check on my progress. She'll have a cow if she finds out I've been using this time for personal blogging. Hm, that would be interesting, her having a cow...
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