A Bit of Confusion

Today, I guess I'm only going to write about one of my gifts. I've been looking at this one for a while, and I'm not quite sure what to make of it. It's so odd. I smell it, and it smells like cheese. I drop it on the counter, and it sounds like cheese. I touch it, and it feels like cheese. I don't dare taste it yet, because when I look at it, it looks nothing like cheese. It looks like some tiny exotic building made of marble, or a really weird-looking slice of cake. The tag says it's some fancy form of cheese, but I'm still not convinced. Many strange things come out of Fredrica's kitchen, and most aren't what they seem. I should thank her though, it's pretty to look at. But what do I thank her with?

I got it! It looks like a parking garage!

Wait, no, that's not what I was thinking. I was thinking about what to give Fredrica. Let's see... a parking garage? No. That's stupid. It has to be something women like. What do women like? Oh I know! They like to hang things from their ears! I really don't get why, but I know they do! Haha, I got it! These earrings are perfect. I'll send them now. Pfff, parking garage. I must be getting too much sun.

Really though, it does sort of resemble...

Two Gifts

Hello readers! Today I'm gonna write about two of the most awesomely neat-o gifts I got. Can't talk for long, though. It's too quiet around here again, so I'm gonna throw more parties, maybe one every day? No, too much. Once a week. A party once a week will work. And... and I'll have a different animal imported each time to release on my island! Yeah! I think I'll get Zebras first, about ten of 'em. And the week after, I'll get some peacocks. They'll look so cool strutting around with the Zebras!

Oh, right, the presents. Well, I guess Farrah found out about my private plane from my first blog, and she got me these sweet little Armani Exchange Wire Frame Aviator Sunglasses! So I can have sunglasses when I go high flying! It's a mouthful to say though, so I just call 'em my fly-shades.

Then Saige got me something that's fun AND cool. They're these little ceramic eggs, but they're not really eggs. I did try to cook one, but when I cracked it, dirt came out. Not shaved chocolate, dirt. That was disappointing, but then I read the instructions. I thought they were just those little recipes that come with treats, but they're instructions. You set the eggs in their little pots and crack the top. Then you plant seeds in the dirt, and these little plants grow! A plant coming from an egg instead of a chicken! Why didn't someone think of this years ago? It's the coolest thing ever! Much cooler than an omelette, although I am still hungry. And I haven't gotten the taste of dirt out of my mouth yet.

Best Party EVER!

My party was the bomb. And not like last time, when it just bombed. This time it was hopping. All my teammates from Viva Swag were there, and a few celebrities I invited over. Everything I planned went like I planned because when I plan plans, I plan well.

I don't see eye to eye with Rico, but I'll admit this much. He's a great DJ. With his music and kick-butt sound system, the evening was off to a great start. I'd had a sweet hardwood dance floor built, and we danced and danced and danced. I even saw Astrid out there, doing some serious grooving! After an hour or so of dancing, Kip and I sent everyone off on a scavenger hunt we'd put together. I'd bought a truckload of clothes and accessories from Cleopatra and Farrah, then scattered them around the island. My only rule? Finders, keepers! The dance floor emptied fast.

By the time they came back, arms loaded with goodies, they were hungry. Lucky for me, Fredrica brought a ton of these delicious little Brie & Raspberry Stars. Everyone loved them. I have to remember to thank her later, and order some more. Those treats are addicting.

After that, everyone wandered over to the Beachview Room. It's a cherrywood paneled room with an open wall on the far side. The open wall has a light screen that can be opened or closed, but either way there's almost always a nice breeze coming in. I had a bunch of Saige's candles around, and one of my butlers was hiding near the air vents, wafting Takahatchi's Vanilla Grapefruit perfume into the room.

I haven't opened the presents yet. I'm so excited, but I want to see how long I can go without opening them. It's a test of willpower. When I go into the room and stare at the gifts, they stare back at me. It's man against box. Aristotle against bright colors and shiny bows. I gave in and opened one so far. An awesomely cool watch from Meadow. She's definitely getting flowers as a thank-you. As for the others... I can resist... but why am I resisting? Forget it! I'm hooked now, I have to see what the rest of the shiny boxes are hiding! Aristotle signing off!

I Feel Ill

I don't feel very well. I think Rico poisoned me. He told me not to drink from that stream, when he knew, very specifically knew, that the moment he said that, I would drink from that stream. Yes. That's it. And, and we were attacked. Vicious animals, yes, it was a mountain lion. No, two... three of them. They all jumped me, but I held them off. Rico did nothing. Stupid cats--I mean mountain lions. They tore my shirt and shorts! That was expensive casual wear! And then this rabid horse tried to run us down. It didn't have a saddle or bridle or anything! What idiot set wild horses loose on my island?! It was foaming at the mouth and gnashing its teeth at me, I tell you! Rico paid it a carrot to run me down! It came at me right after he fed it.

I'm really not feeling well. My skin is all red... probablly Ricos' faulsts too...at leaest i'''m hoomes... neveeer shouldsa hasvse....fihas;ldkfkn;...........

Wednesday is Wonderful--Deal With It

Rico's in over his head. He thinks I won't make it on this trek. I'll show him. I won't even be winded by the end of it, and he'll be so winded, it'll be like a hurricane! His breathing, that is. Like a hurricane. But I'll have it easy. My eyes will be protected by my Dior 60s sunglasses, and walking around the island will be a cinch with my Speed Cat PUMA sneakers. I hear Rico's just coming with his sandals and a sweatband. My island will eat him up like a jelly bean. No, that doesn't work. I like jelly beans too much to compare Rico to them... chopped liver! My island will eat him up like chopped liver. Ewww... but who likes chopped liver? My island wouldn't want to eat him up. Hmm... this is one of those brain teaser things, but I don't have time to think about it. We're about to leave.

Oh, did I mention it's my birthday today? It's my birthday today! I'm throwing the greatest party ever on Wednesday next week. Why Wednesday? Because I like Wednesday! Do you have a problem with that? Well, then you're not invited. But you are, Frederica. So are you Farrah, and Meadow, and Cleopatra, and Kip, Takahatchi, Saige, and even Rico. Because I'm not so petty as to shun one of the elite Viva Swag team. And, of course, our dedicated publicist, Astrid. Come prepared for a scavenger hunt! I'm off to explore my own island!

Who Is Jackson And Why Did He Ruin My Party??!

The party was awesome, I mean, everyone was there. There was that guy from that movie, and that girl from the music video, and that other guy. Really. There's nothing like a Jet-Setter's party. Nothing in the world. Nothing... in... OKAY OKAY nobody came. It was a graveyard. They were all at this stupid funeral. Who's this Jackson anyway? Did he ever own an island? Huh? HUH?? And if he did, I bet he never named it Ted. They'll see what they missed. Next week it's my birthday, and I'm inviting ALL my Viva Swag friends, and NONE of the rich celebrities. Yeah, see how they take it. They'll be sorry. And so will Jackson.

Speaking of sorry, I'm gonna make sure Rico takes back what he said about me. What's he got against trainers anyway? You don't get anywhere without practice, and that's just what my trainer is for. That, and to tell me what a great job I'm doing. He'll see. He can't compete with a descendant of Zeus himself. We're going on an exploratory trip around my island. With my trusty Magellan Professional GPS, I'll know right where I am the whole time. See, look at it. It looks like you're looking down from a satellite or something! You can see all the little cities and buildings all laid out like on one of those little globes. Rico has no sense of direction. He'll have to depend on me and my GPS. That'll teach him. Come Saturday, it's on. Or... yeah. The GPS. On. You know, the on button. Yeah.

All the Pretty Little Ponies

Aristotle Metropolis, paging Aristotle Metropolis. That's me! Oh yeah! Who's the man? I'm the man! Today is the day my private island will be christened by the first ever Metropolis party! And Metropolis parties don't happen just anywhere, they happen only on my island--Ted! That's right, my island's name is Ted. The party will be the perfect place to show off my new cuff links. I almost bought the 14k Two-Tone Men's Diamond Cuff Links, but I love horses. Horses and ponies! My island has so many horses and ponies running around! It's like a merry-go-round broke down and freed all of them! Oh, cuff links. So I bought the LogoArt Denver Broncos 24kt gold Logo Cuff Links. They look so much cooler! Just look at them, you can almost see the wind whipping through their golden little manes. I'm inviting all my Vivaswag friends to the opening, it's going to be so awesome! I'll let you know how the party went in a few days.