Rico's in over his head. He thinks I won't make it on this trek. I'll show him. I won't even be winded by the end of it, and he'll be so winded, it'll be like a hurricane! His breathing, that is. Like a hurricane. But I'll have it easy. My eyes will be protected by my Dior 60s sunglasses, and walking around the island will be a cinch with my Speed Cat PUMA sneakers. I hear Rico's just coming with his sandals and a sweatband. My island will eat him up like a jelly bean. No, that doesn't work. I like jelly beans too much to compare Rico to them... chopped liver! My island will eat him up like chopped liver. Ewww... but who likes chopped liver? My island wouldn't want to eat him up. Hmm... this is one of those brain teaser things, but I don't have time to think about it. We're about to leave.
Oh, did I mention it's my birthday today? It's my birthday today! I'm throwing the greatest party ever on Wednesday next week. Why Wednesday? Because I like Wednesday! Do you have a problem with that? Well, then you're not invited. But you are, Frederica. So are you Farrah, and Meadow, and Cleopatra, and Kip, Takahatchi, Saige, and even Rico. Because I'm not so petty as to shun one of the elite Viva Swag team. And, of course, our dedicated publicist, Astrid. Come prepared for a scavenger hunt! I'm off to explore my own island!
