Lay Off, Rico!

I've decided. I've decided Rico doesn't know what he's talking about when he says anything. First he spouts off that I kidnapped Kip, my best friend, and locked him up somewhere. I still can't believe he landed me in jail for a few weeks. Then he starts saying things about Fredrica. That he'd even think she has guilt to run off. He's obviously blind, he doesn't see how beau... I mean... yeah she looks okay. So... so lay off, Rico! Just because some two bit magazine put you on the front cover for a month doesn't give you the right to mouth off about Fredrica. You know what? You're fired. I don't want salsa lessons from you anymore. Take that.

What I want is some more of Fredrica's cooking. I've never had anything like it. I have all my chefs work from her recipes, but they can't get it just right like she can. The other day, I had them make the Swordfish Steaks I saw in her CAVE, but the taste was just... just off. I don't know how else to describe it. Something was missing. Same with the lobster tail I tried the day before that. I've offered her full-time positions as my chef, but she loves her restaurant too much to leave it. It's too bad, I mean, she's really sweet and pretty and... and... um...

I still have the cheese. Don't laugh at me.

Free At Last

I couldn't tell who was trying harder not to laugh, the police officers questioning Kip, or Takahatchi. Kip waltzed--or rather limped--into the station dressed head-to-toe like a wannabe hippie chick and demanded my release in a high-pitched tirade. Aside from a strained ankle, he looked perfectly well, and the police finally agreed to my release. I'm free, finally, back at the mansion. Hygiene wasn't a priority in the prison, so I had a good scrub with my cocktail bar soap. Also, despite my generally hairless face, I managed to grow some scruffle in prison, so I had a heart to heart with a container of shaving treatment shaving cream. Looks like that set Takahatchi got me for my birthday wasn't for nothing.
Birthday!

Oh my gosh, today is Fredrica's birthday! Not... that... it's that important or anything. She's just a fellow Vivaswag teammate, that's all... yeah I should get her something. Any thoughts anybody? What do you think she'd like?